Becoming a Rock

I wanted to post today on something that I've noticed about myself lately.  I've been sending batches of query letters out for Branded for just short of a year now.  I sent out my first query's on September 15, 2009.  I got my first rejection for it on the 16th, the very next day.  Those first few rejections really hurt.  It's like having someone say that your child just isn't good enough to accepted into a school, that they're just not smart enough, or pretty enough.  And then I had six agent's request to look at it.  In the end all of them decided to pass.  That was like having that child get their hopes up for being accepted into the school, with me peeking through the windows with my child, seeing the wonders of the inside of that school.  And then an agent pulls the curtains closed and shouts through the windows, "sorry, still not good enough". 

Rejection hurts.  I'll be honest, I've had 58 "sorry, it's just not good enough"'s told to me. 

But the thing I've realized, I don't feel the hurt anymore.  After the first 40 or so rejections it stopped hurting, my hopes stopped falling because I didn't allow them to rise anymore.  I got a rejection yesterday and another one today and I didn't feel a thing as I read the lines "it's just not right for us".  I don't hardly even feel anything about the fact that two agents have the manuscript right now.  Does this mean hope has died in me now?  I've had it crushed just one too many times now?

I've become a rock.  Maybe that's a good thing so I can keep pressing forward.  It's not too hard to keep trying when you don't feel the hurt of rejection anymore.


Jenni Merritt said...

I have heard story after story of people who get HUNDREDS of rejections before finally getting that one sought after acceptance. It is sadly part of the publishing industry, and only the most dedicated win. Keep pushing on. We all know you will be picked up someday. You already have a growing fan-base who is rooting you on every step of the way. Don't let these rejection letters get you down. Let them remind you that the right representative just hasn't opened their eyes and noticed you yet. They will. I know it.

Nicole MacDonald said...

it's all about determination :) You're doing well and the fact the people were interested is a biggie - lots of people don't even get that! Take heart and know that you're right. The difference between a writer and an author is perseverance.