Random Rambelings

I've got about 35 more pages to edit and then I'll transfer it all to the computer. I've only done about 20 pages or so of transfer edit but that part goes pretty fast so I'm hoping it will only take me a few days to do that. I didn't get as many responses back from people who requested to read my book as I thought but I didn't really expect to. Everyone seemed to really like it so that gives me a little hope that perhaps an agent might like it. Although in a way I am still looking forward to my first rejection :). Just to have proof that I'm actually trying to get it out there.

I sent my query to the Query Shark blog so I'm really hoping that she'll critique it for me. Keep your fingers crossed! I know I'll get some great feedback, even if it's not so positive towards my writing.

I have just been thinking today how grateful I am that I finally got back into writing. I have always loved writing. When I was in fifth grade we were asked to write a two page fictional story on slavery and mine ended up being ten. I absolutely loved it! And for a long time I wrote poetry after that. I don't know if it was really any good but all my family seemed very impressed by it. When I was in eighth grade my creative writing teacher read a poem I wrote and asked me to read in front of the entire class he liked it so much! I think he entered it into a contest for me but I don't remember what exactly happened with that. That same year, my best friend and I wrote a "fanfiction" I believe is what it is called of Harry Potter. We worked on that till our sophomore year and finally finished it. I wish I could remember how long it ended up being but it was quite the book for a couple of 14 year olds! I was always so proud that we accomplished that.

My junior year I took the "drop-out Honors English" class cause I didn't like the teacher who taught honors. I had the privilege to have Sam Beeson as my teacher. One assignment he gave us was to write a short scary story. I didn't think I'd be any good at this but he seemed quite impressed. He encouraged everyone to enter the city Halloween short story contest despite the fact that he had won the whole thing for the last 3 or 4 years. He told me however that he thought there was a good chance I would beat him. I wanted to enter very badly but because there was an entry fee I couldn't do it. I was basically providing for myself at that point and even $10 was precious to me and could not be spent on anything that was not necessary.

For some reason after this year I did not write much save a few "song" lyrics. I guess life just got too busy. After I graduated I started working full time and then in the fall added a full time college schedule to the mix. To add to the craziness further I got engaged and had a wedding to plan. And life just kept being crazy. I hardly even read anymore, another great love of mine. After the birth of my daughter though, things finally settled a bit. We moved to Washington state to an island where the pace of life is quite slow and laid back. I became a full time stay at home mom. The setting was perfect to start writing again. It took me a while but eventually the story for The Ever Chronicles came about and I was writing again.

I am so grateful that I am writing again. It makes me so happy and helps me feel that I accomplished something. Don't get me wrong, my role as a wife and mother gives me this as well, but writing is something that is just for me. It is very personal.

It is strange, the drive to write. I don't think I can stop now. I think it would almost literally hurt me to stop. It has become a part of who I am far more than it ever was before. I heard a quote once, I can't remember by who, but it was something to the effect of: "why do I write? Because I would die if I didn't." Something like that. I didn't understand it at the time and it seemed very silly but I really understand it now. Something powerful and pivotal within me would die if I were to stop. And so I won't.

The drive I feel to do something with this thing I have created is powerful. Now that the thought of being published, to be recognized as a writer has been planted in my head I want it bad. Bad. I am going to work as hard and as long as necessary to obtain the thing I want.