The Write Body

I have a confession to make.  When I look in the mirror I don't really like most of what I see.

Common problem.

You see, I've had two children, both of which were more than 9 pounds when they were born, and both were born early.  I also have a job that means I sit the majority of the time.  I also don't have a whole ton of time to work out.

Are any of these really excuses for the fact that my body is less (or rather more depending on how you look at it) than I would like it to be?

Of course not.

I had a really hard time with this, I think about losing weight all the time, and obsess about wanting to look better far more than is probably healthy.  But I couldn't seem to come up with a solution for making time to work out without figuring out a way to stop requiring sleep to function.

And then I stumbled across something cool on Amazon.

I don't really remember how I found it, just that I did and I kept thinking about it after I first saw it.  I decided that I couldn't get it because I didn't know if I would use it enough to justify the cost.

But I just kept thinking about it.  And I kept feeling fat and wanting to not feel fat.

So I finally used the excuse of buying myself a late Mother's Day present and took the plunge.

I bought a FitDesk.  And this is what it looks like:

No, this is not me.  I would have taken a picture of me on it, but no one was home to take one for me.

Its an exercise bike with a little desk on it.  Pretty simple right?  But also quite effective.

Now, I normally do all my work on my desktop (it's my battle station) but I do also have a laptop that I mostly use on the go.  So I made some adjustments and started using my laptop for my writing and editing.

I've had the FitDesk now for about a week.  It has taken some getting used to.  My rear end isn't used to a lot of time on a bike so that made for some sore sitting for a while.  Your back will take a while to get used to how you have to sit.  My eyes take a little longer to focus on the computer screen since I'm constantly wiggling around just a bit.

But I am also able to work on it for about 2 hours at time.  I can bike about 20 miles a day if I get a solid day in.  And I can get a lot of writing/editing done while I'm doing it.

Seriously guys, I'm not trying to be a commercial for this.  FitDesk isn't paying me to write this blog or do a review.  I'm doing this so I have something to be accountable for.  I'm going to try and Tweet daily, maybe Facebook too, how many miles I did while I work.  I am hoping it will help motivate me not to be lazy.

Because I'm trying to get back to the "WRITE" body.  Because despite my job, I don't want to be an overweight author.  I don't want to look at myself and cringe.  I want to be healthier and stronger.

So I encourage you to find what works for you.  Don't settle if you aren't happy.  Find your Write Body.  And yell at me if I'm not working on mine!

Letting your writing take it's natural course

Sorry for the major lacking of decent blog posts lately.  With this writing break it seems that I've also taken a huge step back from the computer and the internet in general.  Which has been a good thing.

But I've had some time to reflect lately on writing in general.  Like: what really makes good writing?  How can I improve my own writing?  How do we get from point A to point B in plot 1, 2 and 3?  I've also had my book EDEN on my mind lately.

EDEN was an interesting book for me.  As I've said before, it was an experiment when I started it.  I didn't think I could write sci-fi/dystopian/post-apocalyptic.  I always thought of myself as a fantasy writer and I honestly didn't read much in those other genres.  But I had the idea so I went for it.

But things changed so much throughout the story.  Getting from point A to point B took a lot of unexpected turns.

Did you guys know that West's name was originally Tyler?  Yeah, I named him Tyler in the beginning because for some reason I really like that name so I decided to give it to him.  But as I got 20 or 30 pages into the book, I realized that I HATED Tyler.  I couldn't figure out his character.  He felt forced.  He was annoying.  

And then it dawned on me.  I couldn't figure out this character because I had given him the wrong name.

Honestly I don't remember how I came up with the name West, I guess it was just born into my head, or maybe West just finally told me his real name.  But suddenly this elusive character slid into place and I knew exactly who he was.

And there is one scene in EDEN that changed the entire course of the rest of the book.  I'll tell you which one it is.  Grab your copies of EDEN and kindly turn to chapter thirteen.  This was a chapter that surprised me.  I didn't expect it to play out as it did.  And then Eve unexpectedly said this line to someone:

 "You mean more to me than anyone here in Eden."

And that was the line that changed the course of the rest of the book.

I don't know if I've ever said this online, but I'll let you in on the big EDEN secret.  Eve did not end up with who I had planned her to end up with at the end of the book.  When I started the book I had it very clearly planned out who she would end up with and how I was going to take care of the guy that she didn't end up with.

Because in chapter thirteen she surprised me by saying that line to the other guy.  Eve's feelings went to a place I hadn't planned.  And in the end, I realized she made the right choice.

Letting your writing take it's natural course is a bit scary.  It takes you off your charted course at times.  It throws huge kinks in your outlines.  But it makes for more natural, better writing.  Sometimes your characters know their story better than you do.

Barreling On (and out of my mind...)

Just another quick update:  I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of the proof copy of Eden, it should be here tomorrow.  If you know me, you know that it is KILLING me to have to wait.  I am not a patient person, lol.  I can't wait to have it in my hands!  I've contacted all the bloggers about review copies, set up who's hosting giveaways and the like.  I will be sure to pass all the links on to you when that time comes!  Only 21 days till release!

So, I had kind of planned on taking a break for the month of June, relishing the fact that I've finished my forth book before my 24th birthday (which is the end of July).  But then Branded really took off.  And Forsaken has been doing really well too.  It's time to push forward onto Vindicated.

I'm sure most of you have heard of NaNoWriMo, the crazy month of November where the challenge is to write 50,000 words in just 30 days.  Well I heard about JuNoWriMo and thought, hmmm... I really need to get moving on book 3.  So guess what?  I'm going for it.  50,000 words by the end of June is in sight.  Will it be crazy?  Yes.  Will it be hard?  You bet your booty.  But I'm going for it.  I wrote 50,000 words of the 110,000 words of Eden in January, so I'm pretty sure I can do this.  Wish me luck.

I had thought about doing this next bit as a separate post but I'm just going to mention it here so I don't sound like one of those ranting authors.  I've seen this mentioned in a few of the reviews of Branded.  "I guessed who Cole was from the start, it wasn't much of a twist".  I just have to say it now, cause it runs through my head every time I read that.  I wasn't trying to keep who Cole was a secret.  I knew you were going to see it pretty early on.  Cole was never the twist.  The end, the final 2 chapters, was the twist.  If you've read Branded you know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, there's my one defense I'm going to make of Branded, lol.

Now, on to Vindicated!  I am so excited to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow morning and start pounding out a first draft!  (i'm being sarcastic about the 5:30 part in case you couldn't tell....)

My Editing Process

I've finally finished the second draft of FORSAKEN, both Jessica and Alex's POV's. It nearly killed me but it's done! Now I have to go back and fill in a few rocky spots in the next draft, then I'll do a quick read through of the whole thing, fix any miss-used words and anything else that stands out to me. Then I'll get a copy of it printed and read through it again. It's weird how your work reads different on the computer than it does in real print. I always catch a lot of different things, find things that I want to change/add in. Once I transfer the edits back to the computer I will send it off to my editors (aka my mom and brilliant sister Ashley). When I get all my mistakes back from them I'll do another transfer, one more read through and call it done! And I'll be totally exhausted and sick of it by that point! LOL THEN, I'll talk to the graphic designer and get the cover done and send it off to the printer. Whew! Lots of work to get done before September 1st! But it will get done! (unless I happen to get signed by an agent or publisher before then, keep your fingers crossed!)

So wow, that ended up much longer than it was supposed to be! Maybe it's a little messy and disorganized but that's my editing process!

Writing doesn't come without a cost...

I wanted to post on something today that has been eating at me for a while now. I feel like I’ve been using all these excuses for why it has taken me so long to write Forsaken. But when it all comes down to it the answer to getting writing done is just time. It takes a lot of time to crank out 94,000 words like Branded is. But the thing is, you don’t have to crank out 2,000 words a day. Every little bit counts, even if it’s only a few hundred words. I feel really depressed if at the end of the day I haven’t written anything. It throws my whole day out of whack if I don’t get any writing done. I feel like I’ve gotten nothing done.

I’m not usually one of those writers who get’s ideas that come to them at random moments. I don’t keep a notebook next to my bed because ideas come to me at 2 in the morning. It occasionally happens but not often. I get my ideas when I’m sitting down in front of my laptop with a notebook and pen next to it. There are a lot of times where I stare at a blank screen and sheet of paper for a long time but something eventually comes. The point is, you need to sit down and put the time in if you want to get something written.

Nathan Bransford, a literary agent, did this seriously great post on how the greatest strength of a writer is willpower. Check the article out HERE. Stick at it. If you want to write bad enough you’ll find a way to make it happen and you’ll find something to write about. If that doesn’t happen, you don’t want it bad enough.

I feel like I’ve finally gotten into a groove with Forsaken. It’s taken me a long, long time to get there but I’m finally there. The reason I got there? I finally started sitting down everyday, sometimes multiple times a day to work on it. I’ve been trying to take 2 hours a day, though out the day to work on my writing. 2 hours doesn’t seem like much but believe me, in my current situation in life, it’s a lot.

Now, I rant about putting in the time but that doesn’t mean that other things aren’t going to suffer a little bit because of that diverted time. Other things are going to go undone. Today I realized that I didn’t have more than one clean pair of underware and that there was a heaping mountain of laundry to be done. My kids watch way too much TV to keep them out of my hair for a while so I can write. My bathroom really, really needs to be cleaned. And there are endless other things that need to be done but don’t get done because I choose to write instead.

So, are you willing to pay a price for writing? Are you willing to put in the “butt-in-chair” time?

Getting There!

I just finished the second draft of Jessica's POV for Forsaken!!! Now to just go back and work on Alex's POV, then onto the serious editing!!!

Something for fun!

This is just something that spilled out of my head today. It was kind of fun to write and something soooo different than the Fall of Angels. It's probably a total mess since it's just a very fast first draft but I had fun with it. Maybe you'll all like it too!


My name is Tara Evensong and I’m a superhero.

I always knew I was one, my mom’s one. She kind of kicks butt. My dad’s a pretty cool guy too, he’s a fireman. No superpowers involved there. And then there’s my little brother, Xavier, twelve years younger than me. Ya, he was a surprise to us all. I can’t say I’m sorry he came along, he loves me more than anyone else ever could.

But back to the superhero thing. Apparently it only passes down in women in families. It just kind of shows up in men. Doesn’t make much sense to me, but then, how does anything about being a superhero make sense? So my mom’s one, my grandma is one. It was her dad that just randomly changed on his sixteenth birthday. Happy sweet sixteen.

I’m just a normal fifteen-year-old girl though. Straight brown hair, average build. I guess I do have the weird eyes. They’re green, just a little too bright though. Oh, and then there’s the fact that I can fly, and I’m kind of super strong. No other weird things, like super hearing and sight. That’s my mom’s area. And she’s super fast and I swear, knows everything.

It’s hard enough, being a teenager without having to worry about saving the world.



“What are you wearing?” I asked, my eyebrows scrunching together.

Tracy Morgan, my best friend for as long as I could remember walked down her front steps wearing black leggings, a totally too tight, lace-up-something corset thing, and bright red stilettos. “Are you wanting to look like a street hooker?”

“I just wanted to try something a little different today,” she said defensively as she started down the sidewalk with me.

“Ya, and this has nothing to do with the fact that Josh Stone just broke up with his girlfriend,” I said as I rolled my eyes. She’d been in love with him since the fourth grade. I didn’t understand why he hadn’t gone for her yet, Tracy was beautiful in every way I wasn’t. Her dad was black and had given her perfectly curly hair, amazing lips, and a gorgeous complexion. Not to mention curves in all the right places that I was sadly missing.

“Of course not,” she said. I didn’t miss the way her lips curved up just slightly.

“You could have eased up on the tram look though,” I teased.

“Excuse me!” she shrieked. “I do not look like a tramp.”

I just laughed and shook my head. Just then I heard someone running up behind us and felt my shoulders slump a little.

“Hey, Tara! Wait up!”

I didn’t bother to look back, I knew who was coming.

Preston Gage came panting to join us. He was short, he barely even came to five feet, had poor skin, and was cursed to be poor as well. Even though I would never admit it, I thought the glasses he wore were cute. He’d developed a sad obsession with me however over the summer.

“Hi Preston,” Tracy said, her voice too friendly. I guess this was the payback for saying she looked like a tramp.

He finally seemed to notice Tracy and his eyeballs nearly popped out of his head when they reached her nonexistent neckline. I thought I saw a little drool leak out of the side of his mouth.

“Preston,” I said a little too loudly, coming to Tracy’s chest’s rescue. “Did you need something?”

“Uh…” he stuttered as he forced himself to look away. Perv. “No, I just thought I’d escort you to school this morning.”

I didn’t really care if he saw me roll my eyes. You were lucky if you got paired with Preston for a chemistry lab but cursed if he had you in his “instant chemistry” fantasies. “Whatever. Come on Tracy or we’re going to be late for pre-calc again.”

My fellow captives flooded into the doors of East Highlands High School. All seven hundred forty-five of us. It was kind of a small school, but I think I liked it better that way.

The high school had been build only about five years ago when West Highlands High School got too over crowded. So they build us a new school and kicked us “middle-class” kids out. West Highlands was where all the money was. The mansions, the pools, the expensive cars. Us East Highlanders were just too normal. West Highland also had cops patrolling their school every day with dogs. Drugs were bought and sold there like candy bars and soda.

Tracy followed me into Spanish and I just shook my head when she swayed her hips just a little too much as she walked in front of Josh. I had no doubt it made her day when his eyes bugged out.

Even though this was my second year in Spanish, I still didn’t understand hardly anything Señora Martinez was saying. I should be failing the class but my mom had this weird obsession with my homework. She kind of liked to do it herself. Like I said, I think she knows everything but don’t tell her I said that.

A folded up piece of paper landed on my desk and Tracy’s head snapped back to attention at the board. I unfolded it and saw her note written there.

Josh is TOTALLY staring at me! Guess the “tramp” look worked. :P

I glanced back and saw that she was right. Josh was learing in Tracy’s direction.

Not so sure that’s how you want to be getting his attention. What’s he supposed to expect if you dress like that?

I flipped the note back onto her desk.

Tracy would hardly talk to me the rest of the day and told me during fourth period that she was getting a ride home with Josh.

During my last class of the day, ancient world history, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out under my desk, making sure to keep it out of Mr. Hill’s scope. I groaned when I saw it was a text from my mom.

MAJOR PROBLEM. CAN YOU GET OUT OF CLASS?

Texts like this were never good and often involved gore and a lot of bruises for me afterward.
I’LL TRY. I texted her back.

As soon as Mr. Hill had the class reading a very boring chapter about the fall of Rome I took my chance and went up to his desk, my backpack slung over one shoulder.

“I’m really sorry, Mr. Hill but do you think I could head home now,” I said, trying my best to make my voice sound pained.

“And what is the problem, Miss Evensong?” he said without looking up from his crossword puzzle.

“I started my period yesterday and have super bad cramps.” There, say no to that!

Mr. Hill squirmed. Mission successful. “Fine. Here’s your hall pass,” he said as he scribbled something down on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

“Thanks,” I said, flashing him a smile before I walked out the door.

As soon as I was out the doors and sure no one was watching I hit the sky.

Flying was second nature to me, easy as breathing, as they say. It just took a running start and a jump and I was airborne. I didn’t hardly even have to think about the direction I wanted to go or how high, it just happened. I loved flying, the feel of the wind in my hair and all that. It did make me feel like a freak though, being able to defy gravity.

Two minutes later I set down in my backyard and dashed into the house.

“Who’s about to end the world now?” I called as I walked into the dining room and set my bag down.

“Your father’s books,” I heard my mother call from the living room.

“What?” I said to myself and walked in to see what she was talking about.

I just rolled my eyes as I walked in and found all the furniture rearranged. My dad’s huge bookcase was sitting in the middle of the room and my mom looked out of sorts.

“I got it that far and nearly knocked it over,” she said as she looked at the thing with the evil eye. Mom’s are so good at that look. Good thing she’s one of the good guys.

“You know, you could have unloaded it and it would have been a whole lot easier,” I said as I walked over to it and slid it along the floor, being careful not to let any of the books tumble out.
“Ya, well,” she just shrugged.

Once I had it where she wanted I started toward the bathroom. “I don’t think this constitutes as a “major problem” that justifies pulling me out of school,” I said as I closed the door and set to doing my business.

“Oh, I’ll just do your homework for you, will that make it up?” she called as she walked into the kitchen.

“Only if it’s my Spanish homework, and chemistry!”

“I’m on it!”

I shook my head and flushed and washed my hands. My mom was kind of like a genius with the mindset of a thirteen-year-old sometimes. I guess that was why we got along so well.

No Regrets

The last few days my family and I have been in eastern Washington for the State golf match. My husband is the assistant coach for the high school team here on good ole' Orcas Island and we made it to State. We didn't do so great considering we were expected to win first but that's not the point of this post (great season though Vikings!). I was talking to one of the moms and mentioned my age. Her jaw nearly hit the floor when she found out I was only 22 (mind you that my two kids are sitting right next to me).

I get a lot of mixed reactions when people find out how old I am. This mom was actually very positive, despite how shocked she was. But a lot of people are very negative about it, even if they don't vocalise it.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn here or anything like that but here's a recap of what's happened since I graduated high school:

*I moved out of my parents house a month and a half after I turned 18. I got a job working full time, the graveyard shift as a nurses assistant, and was balancing a full time college schedule.

*At this same time, 3 months after I turned 18 I got engaged to my husband Justin. Now I had the pressure of full time school, a full time job, and planning a wedding that was to take place 2 and a half months from the time of the engagement.

*After attending my first year of college and getting married while still at 18, I got a job as a receptionist making good money. Justin and I decided it was time to move on with our lives and buy our first house. We closed 6 weeks before I turned 19.

*The baby bug hit when I was 19 and a half. I had my daughter and became a stay at home mommy at 20.

*My husband and I decided we needed a change and decided to move to Orcas Island, WA where he had grown up. I didn't know anyone there, didn't have any family within 1,000 miles and was going with just my husband and 2 month old daughter.

*While living on the island I started writing my first book and finished it just a few months after my 21st birthday.

*Soon after being surprised by the exciting news that I was pregnant again, an opportunity arose to buy the golf course here on the island, the same one Justin practically grew up on. We jumped at the opportunity and it's been an amazing experience.

*Just after I turned 22 I finished my second book.

*Despite having 2 kids, a business to help run, and no family around to help, I'm almost done with my third book.

Not bad for someone who doesn't turn 23 for 2 more months.

People look down on me for being married and already having two kids. But what other 22 year old do you know who has made more of a life for themselves?

I'm Keary Taylor. I'm married with 2 kids, a writer, a business owner, and I don't regret one decision I've made.

Well then...

Isn't this a cool picture?! It's of Lake Samish, where Branded takes place. Someday I'm going to go camping there and get a really good feel for what it's like to be there. I've driven around the lake a few times but I don't think it's quite the same.


I just had a funny random thought. This picture reminded me a little of the journey of writing. You've got to walk the plank, which is scary enough, to take the risk of trying to get into the world of writing. When you reach the end of it you've just got to make the big scary jump toward the light. LOL, wow! I think this island is getting to me!

So I had this really great idea for a blog post the other day but couldn't get to it for a little while. Then when I went to do it of course I couldn't remember what I was going to write about! I hate it when that happens! Ideas come and go so fast for me! I know I forget half the "ah-ha" moments I have while plotting my books. Maybe that means I'm not having very good ideas, maybe that's just the best way to weed out the ones that aren't so good. Only the great ones stick!

The clock is ticking till Forsaken has to be done but I'm getting close! I got a lot of good writing done lately with the second draft of it. I'm a lot happier with this draft than I was with the first. I'm still struggling to make it long enough for some reason. It seems weird that it's working out that way cause it feels like there is so much going on but at the same time I'm not having to build up this whole concept and world like I did with Branded. Forsaken feels very much like it's half about the development of the characters. We don't learn a ton more about Jessica than we did in the first one but Alex of course gets explored a whole lot more since the book is about 1/3 of his POV. Cole is the major player in this one though. We learn a LOT about him, where he comes from, how he got to be so evil, how he came to be the head-honcho bad guy. Emily is explored more. Sal is the only one who takes a major back seat. She'll come out a lot more in the third one though. There are 5 more characters that will come into play as well, 3 of which are in Branded, but only really mentioned.

Huh, well this post took a different turn than expected! Sorry for all the random stuff! LOL

This Writers Life

I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to writing. I look at all these well known and published writers and think I need to be like them. I have to get everything done now and I have to be amazing at whatever I do. But sometimes I need to be realistic. I set a deadline for myself a while back to have Forsaken totally finished by June 1st. Well, it's just not going to happen. Here's why:

* I have 2 children, ages 2 1/2 and 6 months. My youngest likes to be held all the time, a total mama's boy. My 2 year old is VERY active and likes to get into EVERYTHING!

* I have a house to keep up with, laundry, cleaning, dishes, a yard, and everything else that goes with it.

* My husband works 80+ hours a week. Seriously, no joke. He works 7 days a week, leaves at 6 in the morning and gets home at around 7 at night. I don't get much help from him with the kids or much else. Don't get me wrong, I love him and don't resent him for this, that's just the way it is when you own a golf course and run the entire thing with just 2 people.

* I try to stay involved. I'm a member of the LDS church and have things to do with that. I try and help out with the golf team. I also try and get together with friends who also have kids.

* I love to read. Sometimes my brain gets tired of always coming up with that's going to go in a book. Sometimes I just want to read a book!

I'm a little busy. It's hard to find time to write sometimes. And while I want to be the next big time author, I'm not them. I'm Keary Taylor. A lot of these writers don't have kids and so they have a lot more time on their hands than I do.

The reason I do all this: Cause I love it. The second reason: Someday I hope it will help support them:

New deadline: August 1st.

So, I got some writing done today on Forsaken. Finally. I don't know what my problem is lately. I've just been in this funk and it's really been depressing me. But I've decided that I just need to stop whining about it and just write! I always try and be so clean and perfect when I do first and second drafts. It's just not coming out that way. But it's ok! At least I'm trying to tell myself that. That's what lots of rounds of editing are for! So, I'm up to the 56,000 word mark, need to get up to at least 90,000.

4 more months till it's gotta be done. It'll happen, even if it kills me.

On a more positive and light note, I've had 2 bloggers contact ME about doing a review of Branded! It's nice to have someone approach me about wanting to do a review instead of the other way around. I've now got 5 or 6 book review bloggers that will have it in the next week or so. I can't wait to hear what they think. Hopefully it will stir up some good attention for me!

Something must be wrong with me

I'm so frustrated with myself. I've gotten almost NO writing done lately. Maybe 2,000 words in the last week. I usually try to do 1,200 a day! I was out of town last week and I never get writing done when we're traveling but still, I've been back for a while now. And it's not just the writing I've been slacking on, it's everything! The laundry, the dishes, cleaning the house, pretty much everything. I think the problem has been the Internet. Sounds stupid but that's a big part of it. I haven't had the Internet at home since June of last year until about 2 weeks ago. It was a pain because I had to go over to the clubhouse to use it. Now we finally have it at home and I'm not so sure I want it anymore. I don't get anything done. I just waste away the day. Ugh... Time to get back on track. Maybe I can set some kind of timer/security type thing that will only let me spend so much time on here.

I'm going to write 1,500 words today. I'm going to do it! Right?

A sneak peak at FORSAKEN

The writing of Alex's point of view (POV) is underway! On a whim I decided to post a little sneak peak at a section of Forsaken. This is rough, just a first draft but thought you might enjoy! WARNING-if you haven't read Branded DON'T READ THIS!!! Enjoy! Let me know what you think!

PS. The guy Cormack, has a Scottish accent, that's why the dialog might look like a mess.



It didn’t take long for Jessica to fall asleep. I just laid there for a while, just watching her face as she slept. I could watch her sleep for hours and did sometimes. I wished I could keep away the nightmares she had though. I knew she still had them even if she tried to pretend she didn’t. I know she didn’t like to tell me when she had them. I sensed she felt guilty whenever she had them. She was right though, it wasn’t fair that she should still have nightmares, even if they were a different kind. She had lived a nightmare for nearly sixteen years. That should have been enough.

Curiosity got the best of me after a while and I forced myself to leave Jessica’s side and find our new companion. He wasn’t in his room but as I extended my senses I realized he was no longer in the building. I went to his open window, climbed out, and scaled the building to the roof.

Cormack was sitting on the far end of the building at the very peak of the roof. He sat with his arms resting on his knees, staring up into the star peppered sky. He didn’t turn to look at me as I walked the roofline toward him but I knew he heard me as I approached. When I reached him I sat as well, turning my gaze heavenward.

“I forgot how beautiful they were,” Cormack said as he continued to observe the stars.

I didn’t say anything as we sat, side by side, two angels on the rooftop.

“I don think ya realize jus how lucky ya really are to be allowed to still be here,” he said. I thought I detected a hint of emotion in his voice. If he had been capable I suspected he might have had tears in his eyes. “You must a made one hell ‘o a plea to them, or one hell ‘o a sacrifice.”

“She’s sleeping down below us,” I said simply. “And you’re wrong. I do realize how lucky I am to be here, to still be able to be with her. I almost lost her, twice, but we’re still together.”

“She’s the reason you’re still here?” Cormack asked in shock as he looked me in the face.

“She was dying,” I explained. “I traded my life for hers and the council allowed me to come back to her.”

Cormack continued to stare wide eyed and mouthed at me for a moment before he shook his head and looked back up to the stars. “It’s really not fair ya know,” he said. “I would give anythin’ to come back. Do ya know what et’s like, to have someone take your life away like that? To be killed en cold blood?”

“Ya, actually I do,” I chuckled. I was surprised at how little Cormack seemed to know. “The one that escaped is the one who killed me. He snapped my neck after he nearly beat the life out of me. Over Jessica.”

He was quiet for a little after that. I sensed some emotional turmoil going on inside of him. “I envy you, ya know. What you and Jessica have together. I never found that. Always looked for it but never found it.”

“I’m sorry,” I said sincerely. Truly I was. I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without Jessica. It wouldn’t be whole. It would feel totally empty and pointless.

“Tell me what’s happened en the last eighteen years,” he said after a few minutes of silence. “The world looks so different now.”

“What year did you die?” I asked. I could tell the following conversation was going to be strange.

“1992,” he replied with a chuckle. “I can’t believe I missed the changing of a millennium. Ya have no idea how strange it es to hear what year it es.”

“You’re right there,” I chuckled. “I can’t even imagine.”

“So what have I been missin’, these last eighteen years?”

I suddenly wished I kept up on current events more and had paid more attention to the news.

Lagging behind

Things seem to be crawling along with the writing. If you've been reading my blog for very long you know I HATE editing. I get so frustrated with it. And now that is the point I am at with Forsaken. I'm really anxious to get on with writing Alex's POV but can't until I finish editing in the things I need with Jessica. Things have been so crazy lately, with the golf course getting ready to open for the season (we own the golf course on our little island), I've been out of town for the last 5 days, and with 2 kids it's REALLY hard to find time to write. And I am SO ready to finish Forsaken. I started working on it clear back in October! It's already been almost 7 months since I started it! It should be done by now! I've never taken so long to finish a book.

I've got to do better. Gotta' get this done!

On another note, I've started another blog. It's just for the books I read and what I think about them. www.contemporaryfantasyreview.blogspot.com if you're interested.

Anyway, there's my ramble for the day!

Dwindling

Yesterday was not a very good day for me. I just had a lot of things happen that really pulled me down in regards to my writing. I have been having a lot of feelings of "what's the point" recently. It's nearly impossible to break into the publishing world. I've put in a ton of effort but feel like I've just been wasting my time. I've been having lots of feelings of self-doubt and questioning if I'm just delusioning myself that I'm any good at writing. If Branded isn't ever going to get off the ground, what's the point of finishing Forsaken. And I just feel like I have to prove something. I want to show people I can do this. It just isn't happening. I feel like I've been fighting a battle that's too big for me.

And then I thought to myself, would I be any happier if I stopped writing?

The answer to that is a big, pardon me - I never swear, but HELL NO!

I used to write all the time as a kid. I used to write a ton of poetry in middle school, strange since I can't really stand poetry now. I actually wrote my first book I guess at the age of 14 with my best friend Kim. I wrote a little more in High School, but it kind of started dying out. I didn't write anything for probably 5 years. Soon after having my daughter we moved 1,000 miles away from home to an island where I didn't see the sun all winter and I didn't know anyone. I became REALLY depressed. I won't go into details but let's just say it was really bad. Then my sister came to visit me and brought me some books to read. One book in particular really woke something up in me. I started writing again. And couldn't stop.

Writing has saved me. It brought me out of my depression and gives me something to look forward to. It's just for ME. I love my kids and husband more than I can say but those of you who are mothers know it's easy to lose yourself. The writing is just for me. It keeps me sane.

So, where is this all going? I've decided to just take a step back from trying so hard to get Branded out there and just write. That's what makes me happy. I finished the first draft of Forsaken a few days ago and it felt so good! That's what I need to focus on. When Forsaken is done I'll start pushing the books again and see what happens. But for now, I'm just going to do what I want to do and what makes me happy.

To those of you who have supported me and tell me you enjoyed my work, I give you a HUGE Thank You! I love and appreciate you all!

So in case you haven't seen it on Facebook yet, I've finished the first draft of Forsaken! Yay! It's always such a strange feeling as I'm writing the last few pages of a book. I'm not sure how to explain it. My heart starts beating really fast and I get really excited. But then I start feeling a little sad and a little depressed because I know the editing is coming too. I hate editing, a lot! I've griped about it a lot in my old posts. I'm sure there are plenty on here.

I'm really happy with what I have created with Forsaken. I was getting really frustrated with it in the beginning, not sure how to make it work or put it down how I wanted it to become. But I'm really happy with it. I got to explore and get to know a lot more of my characters. It was really interesting.

Now the plan is to go back what I have written and edit in a lot of stuff that needs to go in now. Hopefully that will only take me 2 or 3 weeks. Once that is done I will go back and do Alex's part of the story. I'm guessing that will take me about a month. I'm not sure. I still have to get into his head so we'll see how long he takes to let me in. :)

Stuff... Wow, I'm so not creative at titles!

So, I'm nearly done with the first draft from Jessica's POV of Forsaken. I should be done in about a week or so. I have a LOT to go back and edit in and change so I can hardly even call this a true first draft. But that's what it is I guess. Almost done. Then after I finish the second draft of Jessica I will start in on my first draft of the parts that need to be told from Alex's POV. This should be interesting, I'm really looking forward to learning how Alex thinks!

I have to say, I have really learned to enjoy Cole a lot more than I did in the first book. This sounds weird I guess but I'm having a lot of fun with him. He's much more evil that I first thought. lol Guess that's giving a bit away of what is going to happen in Forsaken but there you have it, I'm not done with Cole. Sorry if you hate him, he's sticking around for a while... I have learned to love him.

Anyway, better stop before I give too much away...

I still have some copies left if you want to order a signed copy and haven't yet.

Oh ya, I almost forgot. I got into my first bookstore. It's called InnerChapters Bookstore. It's down in Seattle! They want me to come down and do a signing too sometime! It's pretty cool. I hate to admit it but I've actually never been to a signing so I'm going to one today at the bookstore here on the island to see how its even done! I'm also going to talk to them about carrying my book as well. I'm sure they will, they're great about supporting local authors.

So there you have it, the current madness!

The deadline is set!

A deadline seems to really work for me surprisingly. I've been really dragging my feet on writing Forsaken for some reason and I decided the other day that I just need to get it done. I seem to do well when I put a lot of pressure on myself. So the deadline is set for June 1st. That gives me just over 2 months to finish it up. I think I calculated that it means that I have to write about 700 words a day. Totally doable as long as I stick to it. I don't always write every day so I'm counting on the days I do write to need to spit out about 1200 words. This is my usual anyway.

It is official though, at least a third of Forsaken is going to be told from Alex's point of view, maybe closer to half. I even toyed with the idea of telling some of it from Emily's POV but that would just get to be too much. There is a big chunk of the story that involves her that will otherwise never be fully known or understood but I'll just have to be creative in working it in.

I also found a really great section of "Inferno" that kind of in a weird way sums up Forsaken. Take a look:

""For such a falling short, and for no crime,

We all are lost, and suffer only this:

Hopeless, we live forever in desire."

When I heard this, great sorrow seized my heart,

For I saw men of great distinction there

Hovering in Limbo at the edge of Hell."

Isn't that great! Wow, I've been slowly reading a translation of it and it is powerful stuff and very interesting. So chew on that for a while, a little food for thought!

Wow, pretty freakin' cool!

So in Jan. of 2009 I did a blog post about a book I was reading, "The Gargoyle" by Andrew Davidson. I ranted and raved about his writing and having finished it it became my new favorite book and still is today. About 4 or 5 months ago I was scanning the "sale rack" at the library when to my absolute delight I saw a copy of it for $1! I pulled it off the shelf and nearly passed out when I saw that it was an advanced reading copy!!!! It also said "not for sale" on the cover but luckily the people at the library didn't seem to notice that! Needless to say it made my entire week, maybe month.

I've been working on promoting my book on facebook and decided it couldn't hurt to become fans of different writers and publishers, there could be a slim chance one of them will take a look at me and my book. Well, I found Andrew Davidson on there and was in awe to see that he actually interacts with his fans that talk to him on there!! That doesn't happen too often. So I sent him a message on his fan page and told him how I love his book and that it changed my own writing and that I thought it was cool that he actually talks to people. He replied that he thought he had great fans and thanks for the praise for The Gargoyle. I was tickled pink that he replied to ME and then HE added ME as a friend to his personal facebook page! Wow, cool. Anyway, just letting you know that I've talked on the web to my writing idol. Now if I could just track down Stephenie Meyer online...

Maybe I'm just not that great of a plotting writer or just not that great of a writer at all, but I've been struggling over the ending of the Fall of Angels series. I needed to figure it out soon because it obviously is going to effect Forsaken as well. I've been going back and forth between two options liking and hating different things about each of them. One of them kept with the slightly scary, dark theme of the first book but I know people will likely hate it, it isn't exactly happy. The other option might make people happier but I'm afraid it would seem to cliche. But I think I finally figured out what I'm going to do now, with keeping everyone happy, myself included. And I hate to toot my own horn but I think it is brilliant! I'm so excited about it. Keeps with the gothic scary overtone but there's also the "happily ever after". I'm so excited to get to it and start writing it! I'm toying with the idea of calling the third book Descended.

As for Forsaken, I'm trying something new out. I'm coming up a little short as to the word count. I'm about a third of the way through when I should be about half of the way through at the point I am at. The problem I am having is that there is a lot going on that either doesn't involve Jessica or that she doesn't know is going on. So... I'm playing around with telling about a third of it from Alex's point of view. To be honest I'm having a harder time getting into Alex's head than I thought I would. I know this probably seems totally crazy since these characters only exist in my head but that's how it is. I know how they will react to things, how their personalities work but I don't know exactly how they think or what they think. I know this sounds totally crazy... But I started just trying out how Alex would tell his side of the story and I'm having trouble getting into his head. At first I blamed it on trying to get into a guys head but since the first book was told from a guys perspective I can't put it there. I think I'm just going to have to finish Forsaken in Jessica's head, then when I'm done with that, go back and write it from Alex's perspective. It's too hard to go back and forth. I need to get into my "groove" with a character. It will be interesting to get into Alex's head though. I have to admit, I'm a little in love with him, but that's the point, make the audience fall in love with him, so I kind of have to be myself. Ya, I'm crazy, I know... I keep sayin' it.

Wow, this turned out way longer than I thought it would. I thought I was just going to announce that I figured out the ending but there you have it, insight into my insanity!